Life’s too F***ing short!

A fascinating book came to my hands whilst I was browsing my local library. The author, Janet Street-Porter, claims that she knows some secrets to our life dilemmas.

I’ve decided to read the book and put a summary here for you to read. If you want to read the whole book, the reference is below.

by Elia Strange

life's too f***ing short

If you want to know how to get what YOU want out of LIFE without wasting time, effort or money, then follow the advice of Janet Stress-Porter, a journalist and an excellent writer.

Life doesn’t have to be hard if you follow a few principles: stay positive, and don’t waste your time and money on things that are not worth it. Here are a few affirmations (say them to yourself each morning upon awakening) to get you started:

- I am bloody brilliant.

- I am great.

- I am number one.

- Unique.

- I like me.

- I am worth it.

- I am highly intelligent, no matter what others may say.

Then, think about your life and how much time and money you wasted on what you need. And if you can stop spending your time and money on things you don’t need, then that’s the way forward, because life is too f***ing short to make it complicated. Follow these steps and make your life happier:


Life’s too short to spend a fortune on face cream, - says Janet. To get good looks when you are older is not an expensive business. Don’t smoke, don’t take class A drugs, drink lots of water, sleep well at night, wear sunblock, and enjoy life.

No one cream can reverse what you did to your body for years. Janet also says: “It doesn’t matter what crap is written on the tube of eye cream, once you’ve got wrinkles they are not going away”. Well, her statements certainly can make you wonder…

Life is too f***ing short to be a size zero. Following a diet is a lifetime career for many. It requires strong focus and determination. But it can also be filled with misery and low level of self-worth.

You can do a much better job if you follow a healthy diet, while trying to maintain your weight. It is also harder to loose weight when you are older than when you are younger. So adopt a healthy diet (e.g. lots of veggies and fruits throughout the day) as soon as you can.

Life is too f***ing short to talk to people who are boring. If you are trying to please as many people as you can every day of your life, you might be simply draining yourself without getting much back.

Around a third of people, in any work situation, will ‘instinctively loathe you on sight’, says Janet. Another third of people will decide to like you or not, and will probably go along with what you want. The remaining third of people will genuinely like you and will work with you quite happily. The morale of this story: reduce your ‘pleasantries’ to one third for everyone you work with.

Life’s too f***ing short to spend it in the same dreary job. Find work you really enjoy. Create an amazing CV and apply for a job in a company you really like.

If you think that some jobs are only for the most outstanding personalities, Janet says: ‘I am here to tell you that most famous people are f***ing boring’.

Decide what job you really want by asking yourself the following questions:

- Life is too f***ing short to let someone tell you how to design your home. Don’t waste your money on interior decorators. Develop your own style and change things around frequently.

- Life is too f***ing short to be a slave to fashion. Learn to understand what works for your body and what doesn’t. Stick to what works and ignore the fashionistas (A poncho? PVC trousers? A jumpsuit?! No, no, no!!!)

- Life’s too f***ing short to have a set of rules you can’t live up to. Make your own rules and stick to them. Taste must be the primary consideration for buying food, not its brand. Don’t buy because it’s ‘the best’ of something, which is a rubbish concept in itself. How can there be a ‘best’ bath oil?

- And the last statement of Janet is: ‘Life is too f***ing short to be on a permanent diet, worried about whether your clothes have been approved by the style police, and whether you’re clutching the latest bag’. Feel good about yourself, laugh often, and make your own rules to everything. Good luck!

Other articles you might be interested in:

7 Reasons for our uhappiness

Stop irrational thinking in 6 easy steps

Why do I need to be in a relationship to be happy

What to do when you are stressed

or go to: Archives of all articles

Reference: Street-Porter, J. (2008). Life’s too f***ing short: A guide to getting what YOU want out of LIFE without wasting time, effort or money. London: Quadrille Publishing Limited

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