How to make people like you?
How to be interesting?

Most of us would prefer to be liked rather than disliked by others, but alas many of us have difficulties in creating positive relationships with others and are unsure how to be liked by people that they meet in their everyday lives.

If feel this is you, then read and follow these suggestions:

by Elia Strange

1. Important role of ‘proximity’

Sometimes when we sitting in a group, we might engage in a conversation with those who are sitting next to us and sometimes these ‘accidents’ develop into nice long-term relationships.

So use the chance of sitting next to other people, and use it as often as possible. For example, if you are in a group (e.g. work- or school- related activities), you could if possible change your seat several times (whenever it is possible and without looking creepy) so that you are sitting next to people you still don’t know yet, and make a use of these situations by getting to know them (or just exchange some pleasantries with them).

Remember that people like those who show their interest to them!

2. Creating the “positive affect”

If it is possible, when you have placed yourself in a situation where you are hoping to make friends, you can start creating a positive affect whenever you can.

You could do this by making sure that there is food or drink available for them, that the temperature of the room is ok, ask them if the type of music or the volume of it is pleasant for everyone, or even if the conversational topic is acceptable to everyone.

Know that people like those who take care of them!

3. Use the power of ‘emotional situations’

When you find yourself in an emotional situation, whether it is stressful (e.g. problems at work), traumatic (e.g. floods, blizzards, accidents) or joyful (e.g. news about a new baby born in the family), people feel that they wish to interact with others.


Because people are nosy creatures and they want to know what’s happening, and how they supposed to (emotionally) respond to the situation.

When people find themselves in circumstances like these, they are mostly ready to talk even to strangers. You can easily initiate conversations in these conditions; set about sharing the information you know about this situation and tell them about your own thoughts, feelings and reactions.

Know that emotional people like people who want to support them!

4. Your ‘appearance’ is very important

If you want other people become interested in you, then you need to start with your appearance as first impressions mean a lot. Make sure that you look clean, tidy, fresh, and so on.

Improve your physical appearance as much as you can, you could join a gym and sort out your diet or even change your clothing style but without looking too fashionable (as some people might be uncomfortable with this), so pay attention to how you look, especially when you meeting new people.

It’s a human nature to like those who look nice and clean

5. Go for similarities, discount the differences

The greater number of similarities and agreements you can find with other people, for example, when you are talking to them, the more likely it is that they will like you.

Open your conversation with a statement that will make them agree with you from the start, for example by saying ‘It’s a really nice day/party/event’. Then try to find further similarities, for example by asking how far they had to travel from or how they found out about the event.

Even if there are some disagreements in the conversations, use them to show them that you are open-minded and that you see their viewpoint as well. Don’t try to deceive anyone, be genuine and focus on similarities.

Know that people like those who are similar to them!

6. The power of knowing names

The sweetest word in the world is hearing your own name. If you disagree with this, then you belong to a very small minority. Most people love hearing their name and you can use this to your advantage (i.e. when making friends).

When someone is being introduced to you, say their name out loud once or twice, as this helps you as are trying to memorise it. Try to use their name several times in the first five minutes of conversation. You could say ‘what a nice name you have’ if it is an interesting or unusual name, or for example by saying, ‘So, Anna, how do you like this party/event?’, and always speak their name in a positive manner.

Know that people love hearing their own name from others!

7. The power of positive sentiments

People always like to hear positive things, so you can use compliments, praise, congratulations, and positive evaluations in your conversations with others. Hearing these things is pretty much guaranteed to give another person pleasure and feelings of happiness and joy.

On the other hand, negative remarks such as criticism (even if it’s about something or somebody else), insults, cruel teasing, derogatory comments are almost always guaranteed to create negative feelings.

Know that people love positive talk!


Please use these suggestions as much as you can, re-read them from time to time whilst you practice them with others in your daily life. I hope they will help you to make new friends and acquaintances, or may be to create interesting conversation with others.

Use your charm and positivity, but don’t be superficial as most people will notice that as well. Be genuine, be kind, and be positive. Aim to become interested in what other people do, in their day to day lives and their hobbies, show people that you are genuinely interested and they will simply like you for it.

Other articles you might like:

How do we choose our partners and friends

Why do we find some people attractive

Why do I 'always' need to be in a relationship (to feel happy)

Why am I lonely

What is social rejection

Why people commit suicide

Why do we fall in love

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